Dear Dave,
Among the earliest lessons one learns when they start managing people: you never know quite what’s going on in someone’s life, but you can be sure that everyone has things going on. To put it eloquently: Life is always Lifeing, just as Work is always Working.
When Life does its thing, it can be hard to know what you need, and harder still to ask for it at work. Hardest of all, perhaps, is giving ourselves permission to ask for anything in the first place; it’s so damn hard to recognize our own needs and honour them. I think that’s especially true for leaders: we want to model strength and resilience, and show up consistently and energetically.
But leadership has taught me time and time again that strength and resilience have different shades, one of which is recognizing when it’s time to step away.
This past month was that time for me. In late March, I got some painful news and went through some health issues. I needed to step back to focus on rest, recovery, and processing, knowing I couldn’t show up with energy and motivation without doing so.
In practice, this meant closing my laptop after coordinating a handoff and firing off a few frantic Slack messages, and not opening it again until, well, now. I offloaded my work apps from my phone and gave myself permission to sign off completely.
I wish I could tell you I was totally comfortable doing this, but of course I wasn’t. Over the last month, my mind wandered back to work many times, wondering how things were going and worrying about how my absence was being perceived. But I kept bringing myself back to the present by repeating a mantra: Doing what’s best for me is doing what’s best for my team. Taking time to heal is what enables me to show up in the long run.
And my team had my back. Delegation and trust aren’t just important for efficiency; they’re important because they let you pursue self-care. They’re what makes it possible to step back when your bell rings. Of course, they also mean empowering others, creating space for people to step up, and giving you something worth asking about when you return: What did you take on, and how did it go? Maybe they can carry it forward, and you can pick up something new in return.
As I return to work, I’m carrying plenty of nerves. The breakneck pace of change in the industry has no doubt continued without me, and I’m holding some fear of being behind the curve. And if I’m honest, taking a leave rarely means whatever prompted it is fully resolved; life doesn’t work that way, because it keeps on Lifeing. But stepping away created space I needed, and I’m returning with curiosity about what I’ve missed, excitement to reconnect, and genuine gratitude for the people who made the time possible.
A massive thank you to Dave for keeping the ship moving, on the blog and at work, alongside so many other wonderful colleagues.
Taking care of yourself is a surprisingly difficult thing to do. But here’s what my leave reminded me: everyone genuinely wants you to take care of yourself, so you can bring your best to work and home, and so they know they have permission to do the same when their time comes.
From marking 1000+ unread messages as read and hoping for the best (JUST KIDDING, my anxious heart would never... but honestly, maybe I should),
Danielle.
It’s so great to have you back my friend!