Dear Danielle,
I turned 40 last week!
I’d like to think it’s not that big of a deal (?), but it’s also a number that makes me pause and reflect, and puts a lot of things into perspective. Over the years, I’ve picked up plenty of advice from past managers and mentors, wisdom from family and friends, insights from books and articles, and lessons crystallized from experience. Slowly, they became principles I try my best to live by and use to guide my day-to-day decision making.
Some of these are about career. Some are about leadership. All of them are about how we can show up as better leaders and humans.
Everything that’s a dichotomy is actually a spectrum. Almost nothing is as black and white as it seems.
Hold multiple truths, even when they overlap or conflict with each other.
Have a backbone. People won’t always agree with you, but they will respect you for standing up for what you believe in.
When I was younger, like everyone else, I wanted to fit in and be the same as everyone else. But the older I get, the more I’ve learned to double down and embrace my “gimmick.” So develop and own your brand. Be known for something. Lean into what makes you you.
Consistency beats motivation every time. Show up the same way daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.
As a leader, it’s imperative that you get your own house in order before judging others.
Be the person in the room who asks follow-up questions and pushes for details. Nuance and context matter.
As a people leader, you’ll find yourself settling arguments and resolving conflicts a lot. You’ll be tempted to pick sides, especially when it involves one of your own. But remember, the truth is almost always somewhere in the middle. Take the time to hear what the other side has to say. It’ll surprise you more often than not.
Related: one of my favourite lines at work is “It takes two hands to clap.” When something goes awry, it’s almost never the fault of a single party. Similarly, when you need to build something together, you need the other party to meet you halfway.
“I don’t know” is a perfectly valid response. But your next sentence needs to be “Let me look into it and get back to you.”
Not responding, used sparingly, is also a perfectly good tactic. Used thoughtfully, it trains others to make decisions on their own.
Honesty and transparency never fail. The truth is the easiest thing to remember.
Work with the best data you have at the moment. Iterate when the data changes.
Resulting bias is real. It’s great to want to learn from wins and mistakes, but don’t go back and question a decision just because it didn’t go your way. Learn and move on.
If you have nothing constructive to add, say nothing.
Spend time building rapport with your people. I mean, really spend time. That time is what builds trust and deep relationships. One day you’re going to have that tough conversation, and you can’t have it without that foundation.
If you see a spill, pick up a mop, even if it isn’t your job. Have extreme ownership.
Don’t let your job get in the way of your career.
A little bit meta, but I’ll end with this one: find your inner voice. Develop a set of principles you can adhere to that guide your day-to-day decision making, principles that align with your values as a person and as a leader. It’ll make your day-to-day operating much easier.
My older daughter Jojo said to me last week, “Daddy have you thought about how a year is just one really long day?” So...
From pondering whether I’ve just had a really, really long day so far,
Dave
You missed preaching the protein gospel 🍗 happy birthday Dave!!!